FluffyBunny

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So far FluffyBunny has created 4 entries.

Arrr, Matey! Or, Why Hollywood Keeps Making More Pirates

  Major movie studios are producing more pirates than ever.  And not the hot Johnny Depp kind — the kind that eats into their profits.  Why?  Because their collective heads are buried in their collective asses, which is apparently where the fabled Bottom Line lives.  (Makes sense, no?)   Granted, the industry has good reason to worry.  In 2008, DVD sales and rentals dropped by 4.8%, which equates to a whopping $2.6 billion in lost revenue.  But if memory serves, the world was in the midst of a severe economic crisis, and discretionary spending fell off like a bag of rocks dropped from the top of the Chrysler building.  Hmm, should I buy food or rent Transformers?  Tough call ….   […]

By |November 19th, 2009|MyBlog|3 Comments|

Twilight Time!

  Before we begin, let me share my entire knowledge of the Twilight universe with you — It’s a series of books written by Stephenie Meyer, which are wildly popular with teenage girls. The books are about vampires and high school, and focus on protagonist Bella Something-or-other (played in the movie by Kristen Stewart) and her toothy love interest Edward Cullen (played by Robert "Dead Ced" Pattinson.) It’s set in the town of Forks, Washington. That’s it. That’s all I know just from paying attention to various pop-culture mags and blogs here and there. Let’s get started, shall we? First up, a voice-over from whom I assume to be Bella, talking about dying and whatnot, while the camera focuses lovingly on a deer in what looks to be a rainforest. If this is Washington, it probably is. Oops, deer is lunch for someone, probably Ed, but it’s not clear. Meanwhile, back in Phoenix, Bella has stopped talking about dying and started talking about moving, specifically in with her dad. Why? Probably because her mom is Sarah "Nina Myers" Clarke, which would freak me right the hell out. Watch your back, Bella! Awkward moment in the car between Bella and her dad, who is (conveniently, I suspect) Chief of Police in Forks, which is so not Phoenix-like. To emphasize how not-liking-Forks she is, Bella exits the car clutching a tiny little cactus to her bosom. (Foreshadowing! Your clue to quality literature!) The awkwardness continues in the house, but is quickly over as "Charlie" (as she name-checks her dad) is not big on the dad thing. He does, however, gift her with a big ugly truck with an engine rebuilt by local native (and Native) hottie Jacob. I suspect Jacob isn’t pale enough for Bella’s tastes. First day at the new school! Big Ugly Truck is immediately dissed by the local kids and Bella wanders the halls morosely staring at what I assume is her schedule and/or locker assignment. Super Perky Eric! pops up, correctly identifying her as — — okay, WHAT?! Her name is Bella freaking SWAN? Christ, Stephenie, why didn’t you just call her Ugly Duckling if you needed some shorthand? *sigh* Okay. Super Perky Eric! volunteers to be Bella’s new BFF, but she tells him she prefers to suffer in silence, which, only six and a half minutes into this movie is already SO NOT TRUE. Gym class introduces us to Average Guy! Mikey and Super Annoying! Jessica. We also learn Bella sucks at volleyball and also just walking around. At lunch, Bella’s new friends are annoying some more, then she sees a whole pile of Cullens sauntering into the cafeteria. They’re all foster kids (wink, wink) a little weird (nudge, nudge) and four-fifths of them have hooked up with each other. *blink, blink* The lone exception is super-hot-n-broody Edward, whom Bella can’t stop staring at while she seductively bites her bottom lip and makes Homer Simpson drooling noises. Bella’s off to biology class, where of course she sees Ed sitting all by his lonesome. She pauses by a convenient fan, which seductively slo-mos her chestnut tresses around her face. Edward makes retching motions. I guess that would be a little off-putting. Bella is, naturally, his lab partner, and once he gets his nausea under control, he sweetly indicates which flatworm will be hers to dissect. Bella surreptitiously checks her pits for offensiveness, which is actually kind of awesome. Ed leaps up and bolts just as the bell rings. Bella has the idea to change her class but Ed’s beaten her to it. Alas, all the other science classes are full so Ed will "just have to endure it." As will we all. […]

“Anything’s better than going to Ohio.” *

  Last week, I got treated to an early look at The Patriot Witch, the latest book from esteemed author CharlieBunnyPants  C. C. Finlay.  And "treat" really is the right word here.   The Patriot Witch is the story of one Proctor Brown, a 20-year-old farmer and minuteman, who just wants to marry the girl of his dreams, raise cattle and get rich.  But a pesky little Revolutionary War seems to be getting in the way.   Oh yeah, and the magic.   You see, Proctor’s family is from Salem, and he’s got magic in his blood.  His mother, who sometimes helps the neighbors with little things, like sick animals and crop blight, has taught Proctor how to scry, but is otherwise a firm believer in hiding that magic light under the biggest bushel available.  Hanging folks for witchcraft isn’t a long-dead custom in 1775.   Magic aside, those annoying Redcoats are coming, and Proctor is called to the nearby town of Lexington to make a stand with his fellow minutemen.  But Proctor spots an English officer with a charm around his neck, one that seems to protect him from harm, and realizes this war is about to get a whole lot more complicated.     Proctor might have an itchy trigger finger.  I’m just sayin’.   The Patriot Witch starts off (literally) with a bang, and doesn’t let up.  Proctor stumbles across other patriots with his own brand of special talents, who are in turn menaced by those on the opposing side.  And they’re not picky about who they kill in their quest to stop the rebellion.   This is a fast, fun read, with breathless pacing, helpful, healing magic vs. dark sorcery, romance! and an extremely likeable protagonist.  The Patriot Witch is the first book in the Traitor to the Crown trilogy, and is available today from any fine bookseller near you or your computer.  The next two books in the series, A Spell for the Revolution and The Demon Redcoat, will be published in May and June of this year, respectively, so if you’re chary of starting an unfinished series, you don’t have to worry.   I’m already dying to get my hands on the next one.  Go.  Get you some.  Enjoy!  * The title of this article is a direct quote from the book and is no way intended as a slur against the great state of Ohio. ~ The Management […]

By |April 27th, 2009|MyBlog|2 Comments|

In The Name of Burt Reynolds:How Uwe Boll Made My Day

 It wasn’t intentional. Netflix popped up In The Name of the King as a recommendation for me, and I thought what the hell – Jason Statham, fantasy, two great tastes that taste great together. Prior to popping the disc in the DVD player, I IMDb’d it, as is my habit. (It saves me a lot of "Who is that?" distraction during the movie.) Imagine my shock and awe when I discovered the director was Uwe Boll! I’ve never seen a Uwe Boll movie before – this could be good!  My friends, it was not just good, it was comedy gold.  The following contains what are technically spoilers, however, I don’t honestly think you can be spoiled for this movie – it’s just that awful.   […]

By |April 15th, 2009|MyBlog|1 Comment|