Aside from the Rifftrax guys’ ubiquitous Christmas carol version of “Pokerface,” there is an entire album you must purchase for great lulz this holiday season.

 

 

Have Yourself a Meaty Little Christmas

 

My rating?

 

(Four Chicas)

 

 

Okay, I love Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but even if you don’t (and there are plenty of people who don’t), there’s a good chance you’ll find this album hilarious.  Especially those who’ve had just a little too much stress to handle.  They have some pretty fantastic, if not family-friendly lyrics.

 

 

The tracks and my favorite lines are as follows (be warned that by clicking “Read more,” you will likely be amused, scandalized, and/or insulted):

 

 

 

1.   Feliz Navidad – “Meat NaviWad, chicken quesadilla with the mild sauce!”

2.  Hark!  The Harold Angels Rap – “Well, he don’t look like dat in the Jesus sour cream and onion potato chip I bought on eBay.”

3.  Jingle Bells Deep – “I was asked to come here and provide laughter all the way.”

4.  Santa Left a Booger in My Stocking – “You ain’t no cop, are ya?  ’cause you s’posed to say if you is.”

5.  I’ll Be Home for Christmas – “‘Christmas Eve will find me rocking out to Styx as I flog my knob to the J. Crew catalog ’cause the video store closed at six.”

6.  ‘Twas the Night Before Jesus – “So Joseph and Mary rode a donkey into the hills of Gallalee to Bethlehem so she could give birth in the barn ’cause that makes sense to hippies who don’t wash and think it’s okay to lay in straw and sit next to goats.”

7.  Frosty the Red-Nosed Snowman – “Frosty with your nose so bright, won’t you drive the Batmobile?”

8.  I Sure Hope I Don’t Have to Beat Your Ass this Christmas – “See this mistletoe on my belt?  You will smelt what I just dealt.”

9.  The Little Drum Machine Boy – “You’re fired, by the way.”

10.  All I Want for Christmas Is My One Front Tooth – “Gee, if I could only have one of them stress relievers with the seven different settings and the portable stereo speakers…”

11.  O Holy ToNight! – “O night when I was born.  I was born at night.”

12.  Silent Night – “This holiday season, I’m asking you to remember the core message of this song.  Please, by all means, SHUT UP.”

13.  Untitled – My personal FAVORITE LINE – “I’ll be home this Christmas, passed out on the floor.

 

Now, repeat after me: 

 

 Congratulations.  You are now officially certified to rock this holiday season and spread irreverent cheer wherever you may go.