I’ve largely kept quiet about the Twilight saga, mostly because I haven’t read the books. I tried, once, but as it went along I found it difficult to enjoy for a number of reasons. Now, I’m not saying anything against Twi-hards, and I’m not saying Ms. Meyer set out to make abusive twats seem like the perfect boyfriend to a generation of young girls. I know that Edward isn’t abusive, but in real life, boys who act and talk like him generally are. Their relationship isolates her from adults who care about her, and he makes her responsible for his behavior — which are both big freaking warning signs straight from the abusive nut-job playbook. This is offset only by the fact that Robert Pattinson is pretty.

 

I prefer nice guys to bad boys, but I likes ’em pretty.  And R.Patt is pretty, even air brushed with white-out and sporting a gnarly pompadour. *shudder* Okay, I just talked myself out of that one, too.

 

I totally get that it’s a fun, wish-fulfillment fantasy in which the ordinary girl tames her bad-boy crush and everything turns out okay, because he has awesome super powers and loves her *so much* he makes intense faces. A lot. No, really. I get it.  I never really went in for the bad boys, which may explain my complete immunity to the Twilight series, but I get how that could be fun for some people. Who are not me.

 

Thus, I find particular enjoyment in this video by College Humor, in which Bella roams around jonesing for  Edward like he’s made of crack, is briefly consoled by a perpetually shirtless Jacob, then finds something even better: