There are many things we don’t need in this universe.  PETA, cockroaches, middle school box socials in the front rows of movie theaters…but there are some things that deserve their own individual mention.  Thus, I have compiled a list.

 

 1.

Saw VI – The entire trailer is made in bad CGI!  Why….oh, why.  Oh, why must you ruin what I thought was an interesting (and completed) story arc?  Jigsaw, the cool and genius villain, is dead.  Very, very dead.  A lot.

 

 

 

2. 

Twilight Lip Venom – I have never tried regular lip venom, but I have no problem with the product in theory.  From what I understand, it’s just got cinnamon and other tingly things in it that make you feel like your lips are plumping or something like that.  So.   Okay.  That’s fine.  I don’t even have a problem with the color of this product.  I’d love to have a good red lip stain of controllable intensity, and I haven’t found one yet.  Actually, the only problems I have with this product are the word “Twilight” and a single part of the product description:

 

 

 

Twilight Venom should be shaken before use (to represent the blending of the human and vampire worlds).

 

            I lied.  Two parts of the product description:

 

With a customizable ruby stain that captures the blood red lips sported by fashionable vampires, Twilight Venom can let you play the part!

 

No, thank you.  And considering the target audience of Twilight, they don’t need this product to exist, either.  I really don’t need to see any more twelve-year-olds running around in whore makeup to match their ridiculously short skirts and tube tops.  What’s next?

 

 3. 

Thongs for ten-year-olds – Are you worried about your kid’s panty lines?  Really?  In that case, consider dressing your child in more age appropriate clothing and less like she works on a street corner on the weekend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 4.

The Grudge 3 – I had to force myself to watch this movie.  I can’t stand an unresolved storyline, and I was hoping the third one would just wrap everything up.  It didn’t.  Though I was surprised at a few of the actors who were involved.  Anyway, it doesn’t really wrap anything up.  It makes no sense.  It makes even less sense than the second one, and that’s saying a lot.

 

 5.

Josh – Everyone has one of these.  That friend who does nothing.  Or who always looks like he needs a shower.  Or who only wants to hang out when he has no money for booze or lost his ID.  He generally owns one decent-looking shirt.  He is probably also a tree-hugging hippie.  Also, the fact that his life is going nowhere is not his fault.  It’s society’s fault.  For being greedy and corporate or some other such thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. 

The Final Destination – The filming of this movie interrupted my spring vacation,as apparently it was largely done at Universal Studios.  While I was visiting Universal Studios.  At the time, the title was Final Destination 4, which made it even worse.  So we couldn’t get to half of the park because they needed to film yet another “death and nachos” movie – this time, in 3D!

 

 

7.

ALL MOVIES IN 3D! – This gimmick is really starting to get on my nerves.  I could handle it now and then, but every Friday a new movie is released in 3D.  As stylish as I look in 3D glasses, I really don’t understand why this is the hot new thing.