I still remember the day when my dear sister unveiled her Shuttlecraft Galileo ornament, complete with the little button that, when pressed, played a recording of Leonard Nimoy’s voice saying,”Shuttlecraft to Enterprise, Shuttlecraft to Enterprise. Spock here. Happy Holidays. Live Long and Prosper.” We had a proper little Geek-out, complete with Spock-love squee.  Soon it had become a regular part of her holiday  shopping — buying the next geektastic Keepsake Ornament from Hallmark.

 

I gradually distanced myself from this practice, smiling and squeeing politely over her latest acquisition, but not truly coveting them. I even giggled when people made jokes about those geek tree ornaments, never mentioning that my sister owned the lot of them.

 

I’m here to tell you, friends and neighbors, the joke is on me. These collectibles have proved to be a smarter investment than most retirement funds. Not just the ornaments, either. She has painted plates and toys and a replica of Indiana Jones’ hat. She has an honest-to-goodness bat’leth on display over the head of her bed.  (I admit to having a soft spot in my heart for bladed weapons, a feeling which my dear sister appears to share.)

 

Her investment strategy has worked out well. Basically, she buys only what genuinely pushes her buttons. Some have increased in value considerably, and some have not, but she loves them all. Thing is, being her sister and knowing the placement of her buttons as I do, this makes finding the perfect either very simple, or extremely difficult.

 

The difficulty arises when  I find the perfect thing for her, but have to devise ways to prevent her from buying it for herself without giving away that I’m getting it for her. Hence to my current dilemma.  A Deadly Duel, or Han Solo dressed as a stormtrooper?

 

 

On the one hand, Han Solo pretty much single-handedly sent my big sis into puberty, sparking Han solo in stormtrooper outfita lifelong adoration of all things Harrison Ford. Really. She owns all of his movies, and even broke her self-imposed prohibition against watching the 70s TV show Kung Fu (it beat the Planet of the Apes TV show in the ratings, thus leading to the cancellation of her only Geek Lust outlet at the time) because he appeared in an episode. Truly, her devotion to the scruffy-looking smuggler and Harrison Ford in general is a thing of geektastic beauty.

 

On the other hand, she also has a thing for Qui-Gon Jinn. This annoys me a bit, because I was in lust with Liam Neeson long before he donned the Jedi costume, and she routinely mispronounced the character’s name for the first six months of her budding obsession, making him sound like a sign informing boaters that a landing place no longer exists.

 

I cannot, however, impugn her taste. 

 

But still, it’s a squee I can more fully share with her, because I loves me some Qui-Gon. Plus, it also has Obi-Wan, and the presence of a Ewan McGregor character will be an instant reminder to her that it was a gift from me. Her knowledge of my generally well-concealed Ewan McGregor obsession has led to many an interesting birthday.  Puzzles, framed portraits of young, hot Obi-Wan, and of course the Star Wars Saga edition of Trivial Pursuit have all come to me by way of my affectionate sister. So she’ll see him, and she’ll remember it was from me.

 

Plus, it plays lightsaber sounds! I suppose that cinches it.  Now all I have to do is keep her from buying it before her birthday.

 

Pixel Chick’s sister has no internet access at home, and likely will not for a few months, so her secret is safe with us. ~  The Management