Monthly Archives: May 2009

Dear Brandon Sanderson: Beatrice finally read Hero of Ages.

  Dear Brandon Sanderson, author of the Mistborn trilogy, When you announced on your blog last Tuesday that the paperback publication of Hero of Ages hit bookshelves, no one was more excited than me.  You may not know it, but I can’t handle hard cover books for various reasons.  That’s why this paperback news was […]

Star Trek: The New Motion Picture

       I’ve never watched Lost.  I’ve never been a big fan of Abrams’ at all, really.  I didn’t dislike him.  I just didn’t automatically love everything on which he stuck his name.  But JJ Abrams, I am now smitten.  You took my most-beloved universe, my most-beloved television show, […]

By |May 11th, 2009|MyBlog|2 Comments|

The New Trek’s Weekend Grosses

 Well, friends and neighbors, the early numbers are in in on J.J. Abram’s time and back-story bending Star Trek movie, and the news is good. Since its Thursday debut, it has reportedly grossed $76.5 million, putting it well ahead of the franchise’s past offerings. In fact, if the estimates are correct, it may have made […]

By |May 11th, 2009|MyBlog|1 Comment|

Trekgasm: A Saucy Saturday Addendum

   I offer the following as a metaphor for my Wolverine and Trek movie experience:    Just substitute awesome mutant movie for “pecan sandies” and Star Trek for “chocodials.”  I grew up bonding with my dad watching episodes of the original Trek in the middle of […]

By |May 10th, 2009|MyBlog|0 Comments|

Saucy Saturday: How Indiana Jones Has Done Me Wrong

Saucy Saturday is a new feature at GeekaChicas, in which a brave Chica unleashes her sexy self and salty humor for the edification of us all. Saturdays will only be saucy when the mood strikes. ~ The Management   I’ve always loved the idea of nerds. I’ve been attracted to them […]

By |May 9th, 2009|MyBlog|0 Comments|

Ubuntu 9.04

Finally!  After almost two years of weird tics and random freezing, I finally had it.  The solution, or so I hoped, to all my woes on my desktop computer.  The newest version of Ubuntu had come out and I had it in my grubby little hands.  YES!  I […]

Bang! Why life should be more like World of Warcraft

I’m running, and my heart is pounding because I’m carrying the flag. Every enemy will be gunning for me. I see my teammates up ahead–but there are two enemies in the way. I go wide, trying to veer around them. But it’s no use. As the flag carrier, I’m highlighted […]

Twilight Time!

  Before we begin, let me share my entire knowledge of the Twilight universe with you — It’s a series of books written by Stephenie Meyer, which are wildly popular with teenage girls. The books are about vampires and high school, and focus on protagonist Bella Something-or-other (played in the movie by Kristen Stewart) and her toothy love interest Edward Cullen (played by Robert "Dead Ced" Pattinson.) It’s set in the town of Forks, Washington. That’s it. That’s all I know just from paying attention to various pop-culture mags and blogs here and there. Let’s get started, shall we? First up, a voice-over from whom I assume to be Bella, talking about dying and whatnot, while the camera focuses lovingly on a deer in what looks to be a rainforest. If this is Washington, it probably is. Oops, deer is lunch for someone, probably Ed, but it’s not clear. Meanwhile, back in Phoenix, Bella has stopped talking about dying and started talking about moving, specifically in with her dad. Why? Probably because her mom is Sarah "Nina Myers" Clarke, which would freak me right the hell out. Watch your back, Bella! Awkward moment in the car between Bella and her dad, who is (conveniently, I suspect) Chief of Police in Forks, which is so not Phoenix-like. To emphasize how not-liking-Forks she is, Bella exits the car clutching a tiny little cactus to her bosom. (Foreshadowing! Your clue to quality literature!) The awkwardness continues in the house, but is quickly over as "Charlie" (as she name-checks her dad) is not big on the dad thing. He does, however, gift her with a big ugly truck with an engine rebuilt by local native (and Native) hottie Jacob. I suspect Jacob isn’t pale enough for Bella’s tastes. First day at the new school! Big Ugly Truck is immediately dissed by the local kids and Bella wanders the halls morosely staring at what I assume is her schedule and/or locker assignment. Super Perky Eric! pops up, correctly identifying her as — — okay, WHAT?! Her name is Bella freaking SWAN? Christ, Stephenie, why didn’t you just call her Ugly Duckling if you needed some shorthand? *sigh* Okay. Super Perky Eric! volunteers to be Bella’s new BFF, but she tells him she prefers to suffer in silence, which, only six and a half minutes into this movie is already SO NOT TRUE. Gym class introduces us to Average Guy! Mikey and Super Annoying! Jessica. We also learn Bella sucks at volleyball and also just walking around. At lunch, Bella’s new friends are annoying some more, then she sees a whole pile of Cullens sauntering into the cafeteria. They’re all foster kids (wink, wink) a little weird (nudge, nudge) and four-fifths of them have hooked up with each other. *blink, blink* The lone exception is super-hot-n-broody Edward, whom Bella can’t stop staring at while she seductively bites her bottom lip and makes Homer Simpson drooling noises. Bella’s off to biology class, where of course she sees Ed sitting all by his lonesome. She pauses by a convenient fan, which seductively slo-mos her chestnut tresses around her face. Edward makes retching motions. I guess that would be a little off-putting. Bella is, naturally, his lab partner, and once he gets his nausea under control, he sweetly indicates which flatworm will be hers to dissect. Bella surreptitiously checks her pits for offensiveness, which is actually kind of awesome. Ed leaps up and bolts just as the bell rings. Bella has the idea to change her class but Ed’s beaten her to it. Alas, all the other science classes are full so Ed will "just have to endure it." As will we all. […]

The Twilight Series

 Sweet Clementine, GeekaChicas’ newest Lit Geek addition, is a student at BYU. This is her unique perspective on fellow Mormon Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series.  Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight.  I believe the applicable phrase is "cultural phenomenon".  She has created a world in which hundreds of thousands of girls, both old and young, can revel in melodramatic romance to their hearts’ content (which, let’s face it people, means A LOT of melodramatic romance!)  I think we may honestly say that not since Harry Potter has a story created such a large and rabidly devoted group of fans.  So, to be fair, I say congratulations Stephanie Meyer.  You have created a commercial utopia of writing.  I have not.  Therefore, on the scale of Sweet Clementine’s success vs. Stephanie’s, you’re clearly winning. That being said, simply because many people are reading her books, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are well written.  This was an argument I heard last semester in favor of her writing.  No.  Nooooooo!  Lots of people also read the soft porn known as Harlequin Romance novels.  Does that mean that they too are well written?  Absolutely not!  Before I get shanked by the nearest 13 year old girl, let me say that despite my intense hatred of these books, I do not put them quite in the same category as Harlequin romances.  But I do propose that there is a certain type of writing which, utilizing no talent or skill whatsoever, appeals to the lowest possible factor of human entertainment.  Sadly, much of commercially produced media these days (not just literature, but movies, music, and any and everything else) is aimed at this level of entertainment.  It is the basest aspect of human nature.  The part of us that is entertained by sex, and violence, and stupidity. Let us draw a food comparison.  I like food.  You know those big orange semi-marshmallow-like candies commonly known as circus peanuts? (the logic of that naming has eluded me for 22 years, and many more to come I’m sure)  Now, I actually like circus peanuts.  However, I am well aware that every time I eat one of those semi-congealed, dyed and processed orange slug-candies I am putting not one single redeeming thing into my body, and quite likely, quite a few rather damaging things.  I don’t try to argue that somehow, because I like circus peanuts, as do some other insane people, that they must be nutritious in some way.  No, when I eat a circus peanut, I know that I am eating it for no other reason than a weak desire for a straight shot of sugar and chemicals into my veins.  When someone reads Twilight, it is the literary equivalent of eating a circus peanut.  There is nothing there but pure guilty indulgence.  You want drama, you want sex (but we’re Mormons here so its very tame…err…did someone just hear a headboard crack?) and you don’t want anything to get between them and you.  Especially not big words or fancy, thought-provoking ideas. […]

xkcd Does Nathan Fillion

Once again, xkcd has stirred things up a bit — this week the comic will be posting every day. The posts appear to be in a  series called The Race, in which our hero discovers that Nathan Fillion has an electric skateboard just like his, and decides to challenge him to a race. This […]

By |May 5th, 2009|MyBlog|0 Comments|