Monthly Archives: April 2009

Sneak Peek: Darth Vader Clock Radio

 Pardon me while I try to contain my inner 8 year old.  Think back to the dawn of Star Wars, the original trilogy. Do you remember how unbelievably freaking scary Darth Vader was, before we found out he was really a whiny emo bitch massively compensating for something? Yeah, I know it’s hard, but try. Yesterday, one of my devoted minions emailed me a link to a  Gizmodo article about this:    It’s not on the market yet, but rumor has it that it will soon be released from Sakar. I’m going to keep an eye out, because if anything wakes you up good and solid, it’s opening your eyes to a Lord of the Sith with talk radio blaring out of his head. […]

By |April 30th, 2009|MyBlog|5 Comments|

Geek Dance Party – The Phantom Menace

 Let me begin by saying that personally, I’m of the school of thought that there are always more fish in the sea.  I don’t believe there is one person for everyone; I think there are various personality traits that give us a range of potential significant others that’s a lot more targeted than "everybody."  I also think that one of the biggest problems women have when it comes to dating is that they’re automatically inclined to search for a relationship.  I’m not saying I hate relationships.  They’re plenty of fun.  But I do think that culturally, women have a harder time just having fun with casual dating.  I, on the other hand, have been very strongly conditioned toward casual dating.  Blame my mother; she wasn’t all that fond of the idea of my having a serious boyfriend until I was in graduate school.  A man has to prove he’s worth me giving up my other options.  That goes both ways, of course, and it continues throughout the relationship.   We’re both actively choosing each other over anything else that may be available to us. I know that a lot of people tell women that the best way to get into a relationship is to stop looking for one.  It seems ridiculous to some.  To others, it seems to be a commandment to avoid the opposite sex altogether until you’ve found The One (and I don’t mean Keanu Reeves)[1].   To me, it meant that I should have fun.  It’s great to go out to dinners with various men, see movies, ice skate, play video games, and so forth.  I always tried to keep things on a flirty/attracted yet casual level.  I was open about seeing other guys.  I’ve been called irresponsible for that.  I’ve been told that I’m being unfair and playing with men’s hearts.    Personally, I think that as long as I make the man aware of the situation, it’s not my fault if he doesn’t pay attention to what I’m saying.  I’m a fairly literal person.  I mean just about exactly what I say.  I don’t like to read between lines; I think it’s a waste of time.  In the geek dating world, this quality is often a huge plus.  On the other hand, if you’re a geek who ends up dating a non-geek for some reason (and oh, it can be painful…because they can be so pretty, yet so….boring), it helps to realize that they are probably trying to read between lines and probably think that you are as well.  When it comes to casual dating, the biggest plus is that you get a much better understanding of the qualities you like without going through the hassle and heartbreak of serial monogamy.  I used to joke around that between the X guys I was dating, they made up one fantastic boyfriend with all their powers combined Captain Planet style.  Keep in mind what you notice about each guy.  Make note of what qualities you appreciate and do not appreciate – including appearance.  Yes, I know that most of us would like to claim that we only care about personality, but looks do matter on some level.  Also, it really is hard to say what qualities you like until you’ve actually interacted with them.  Trust me on that.  The kind of guy I want now versus the kind of guy I thought I wanted in high school are dramatically different.  I noticed that I had a tendency to go for the arrogant types…which really means that I like confidence.  A lot.  If a guy can pull off being cocky, I’m there in ten seconds flat.  Sadly, many geek men are lacking in this quality when it comes to the ladies, and I am epic fail at boosting anyone’s self-esteem.  So there we go:  one chunk of geekdom eliminated.  Of course, I get bored if he’s not intelligent, no matter how pretty he is, so that’s a must.    How did I learn these things?  Well, a lot of that would go back to those many stories from college, but long story short…no matter how intelligent or pretty a boy was, if he needed constant reassurance, I’d be sick of him within a month or two.  At the same time, no matter how confident and hot a guy was, if he had the IQ of an eggplant, I’d probably be sick of him within a month, max.  Some women can handle the reassurance factor, and if they can, more power to them.  I’m not sure I know of any geek women who would be able to tolerate a lack of intelligence however, so it’s probably safe to put that somewhere in your "necessary" pile of traits.  Some of the worst words a man could ever speak:  "I don’t read.  That’s boring; it’s all on TV anyway."  Oh…well….g2g, have to…alphabetize my Philip K. Dick novels….bye!   Of course, we ladies have it significantly better in the geek dating world than the men.  The ratio is in our favor, and we’re guaranteed to be less boring than that chick over there who’s holding a copy of Gravity’s Rainbow upside down and trying to look like she knows what’s going on.  Don’t be afraid to take advantage, ladies!  Nature (or culture) has given us a substantial leg up…we can’t be blamed for using it.  Everyone should be picky when it comes to serious relationships.  Geek ladies just have the opportunity to be picky earlier in the whole relationship-garnering process.  It makes life much, much easier, and considering that most of us already don’t get along with non-geek women and find ourselves trying to navigate through a world with all kinds of weird unspoken signals largely alien to us, we should take every chance we get to lower our social stress level.   All of this leads up to Geek Dance Party Etiquette Commandments 1 and 2, though they are listed in no particular order.  #1:  Thou shalt not constantly worry about thine current romantic status, for if thou seekest The One too vigorously, there shall be great wailing and gnashing of teeth.  #2:  Thou shalt not avoid all contact with the gender of thine choice.  There’s the lesson of the day, kids.  As I said before, feel free to bring up specific issues if you’d like.  Also, young hot Spock in the back row, please see me after class for some one-on-one tutoring.  Everyone else is dismissed.  [1] Henceforth, "The One" refers to an individual with whom one can maintain a serious commitment, not a one and only soul mate. […]

By |April 30th, 2009|MyBlog|1 Comment|

Star Trek Captain’s Poll Update

Welcome to your update for the current Geeka Chicas poll! This is Darth Sweetums reporting from GeekaChicas Stadium.  There are so many excited fans at the track today, let me tell you.  Many of them are dressed in their favorite Star Trek garb.  I’ve seen several Klingons, many Spocks and one bald Captain James T. Kirk.  Kudos to that fan, whoever he was.  Anyway, our poll race for the Fan Favorite ST Captain has been a no contest so far.  What? You ask me, your mouth agape?  It is true my dears, it is  true. When this announcer first checked the poll Picard had already surpassed expectations by going at warp speed around the track gaining him 25 votes over Original Kirk’s 13 that held him at second place.  Janeway, however held strongly at third with 9 votes while Sisko stole fourth place out from under young!Kirk’s perfect nose with 2 points.    A strange yet interesting development occurred right at the start of the race.  I believe the shot of our starting revolver must have spooked him because Captain Archer seemed to have passed out at the starting line and gave no sign of regaining consciousness. At first, no one was concerned.  Most of us fans believed that Archer was after a few sympathy votes and maybe some candy.  His plight was not noticed until young!Kirk made his first lap around the track and stopped at Archer’s pathetic form lying in the dirt. To everyone’s amazement young!Kirk seemed to forget about the race and stopped to help Archer by calling young!hotter!Bones down from the stands to check up on poor Archer.  I believe the poor Captain began sucking his thumb at that point.   Meanwhile, the votes are pouring in and our Captains are going steadily along the track until Picard hits 30 votes to deafening cheers from the fans.  All was going well for the French Captain until he made a premature victory lap, waving to the crowd, not paying attention to where he was going and tripped on Archer’s immobile body.   Young!Kirk had been trying to wave the good Captain away but poor Jean-Luc was not paying attention and flew clean over Archer and young!Kirk landing face first in the dirt.The only person who appeared to receive some sort of joy out of this event was Captain Sisko, grinning from ear to ear as he passed Picard on the track.  I still sense some tension there.  Locutus was not Picard, Ben!  Give it a rest! Picard seemed to be okay after his fall, however, but he did not start up the race again.  Instead, he returned to the scene of the accident and kicked Archer, who didn’t seem to notice, out of seething frustration.  Young!Bones did not like that one bit and got to his feet.  The crowd is absolutely coming unglued at this point because unlike original Bones, young!Bones looks rather intimidating.  I think it’s because he looks shockingly like a dorky Karl Urban.  Could be just me though. The two men looked as though they were about to face off when a loud cry came from the stands and everyone watched as a large, dark man came flying down the stands and onto the track.  It took all of us a moment to identify him but it was none other than Commander Worf, running to defend his Captain against the crotchety physician. Not long after the fight settled and our Captains were back on track Archer miraculously regained consciousness and Bones was able to push him once around the track in an antigravity chair.  I’m not sure how many more sympathy votes Archer will be able to squeeze out of fans but at least he’s awake now. Right now Picard has been taking a pit stop for several hours along the sidelines reading his beloved collection of Shakespearean works and enjoying several cups of Earl Grey.  He is sitting pretty at 61 votes.    I believe that Original Kirk may be too concerned about his toupe staying on his head as he is now running around the track with one hand slapped firmly on the top of his head.  It’s really slowing him down.  He is staying in second place at 36 points. And that’s all we really need to know.  As fans, we all know that these polls always end up about one thing:  Kirk vs Picard.  So cast your votes and keep your eyes peeled for more updates! Until next time, thank you and good night!  […]

By |April 30th, 2009|MyBlog|3 Comments|

Wolverine Already Has Me on the Edge of My Seat

  Oh, I guarantee you I have tickets.  Tomorrow night, at 11:59pm, I will be bouncing in my seat in anticipation of this new movie – for some reason, the theaters around here have what would be a "12:01" showing at 11:59 because Louisiana needs to be special.  I, like many others, have finally come to accept that movie Marvel storylines are in a different universe than comic Marvel storylines.  But oh, my Lord.  As much as I’m ready for some ass-kicking action with a bunch of the characters I so very much wanted in the other movies…I’m also afraid.  Very, very afraid.  This movie, despite its potential to be fantastic, also has a dangerously strong potential to be EPIC, WORLD-ENDING FAIL.  I’m pretty kind to most of the movies I see, but there are certain aspects of the Wolverine movie on which I absolutely will not compromise.  1.        Ryan Reynolds.  I do not trust him to do anything.  Seriously.  I wouldn’t let that man wash my car.  He’s got a lot to prove in my book, since finding out he was in the movie was like being socked in the stomach.  2.       Gambit.  More specifically, GAMBIT’S ACCENT.  Such huge fail potential.  Many, many actors have attempted the Cajun accent, and for the most part, they have failed.  Miserably.  I’m sure from what I’ve seen in the trailers that the Gambit style is not at risk, but I have yet to hear the man speak a single word.  I can’t help but be nervous over these two particular points.  There are a million other things that are cause for worry, but those are my Big Two.  We’ll see how they end up, but in the meantime, I’m just going to be overly nervous.  Let’s all join together in a dance to please the movie gods so that I don’t have to have every chuck-able object moved out of my reach to prevent me from trying to vent directly at the movie.  It’s happened – Bowling for Columbine, political debates….  Let’s just all do the dance for the movie gods, okay?  For all our sakes. […]

By |April 29th, 2009|MyBlog|1 Comment|
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    Insults in my Living Room. Why the Wii Fit gets a big ol’ fail.

Insults in my Living Room. Why the Wii Fit gets a big ol’ fail.

 I am a serial fitness starter.  One of those that isn’t really happy with the way my body looks in the mirror without clothing on but too lazy to really do anything about it.  My hobbies all involve sitting on my rear and staring at something.  Either the computer screen, beads, or well, the […]

By |April 29th, 2009|MyBlog|3 Comments|

“Womanizer” Parody, featuring Geek Boys

 VenetianPrincess is a gifted parody video maker, and this one has been my personal favorite since Pearce sent it to me. Too good not to share! "Don’t need a Jock. I want a Spock."  *snorffle*    

By |April 29th, 2009|MyBlog|3 Comments|

D&D 4e Inroduces Geek Class

 GEEK  “It blew up?! AWESOME!” Class Traits You willingly spend your days where others dare not go: into the server room, below the false floor, under desks stalked by killer dust bunnies. The insistent whine of a gigabit router is like a mother’s lullaby to you; you can survive for months at a time on caffeine; upstairs, people speak of you in hushed words and dare not incur your wrath, for you hold the very power of the Internet in your hands. You are, in short, a geek; you want nothing more than to be left alone with your toys, but are constantly being harassed by “users”, “clients”, or “bosses”. Power Source: Arcane. You have devoted years of study to the esoterica of geekery, and your very essence is coded in binary. Key Abilities: Intelligence, Wisdom, Constitution Armor Proficiencies: none Weapon Proficiencies: any device containing 1 or more transistors Trained Skills: From the class skills list below, choose three trained skills at 1st level. Class Skills: Brute Force (Str), Datamancy (Wis), Cast Iron Stomach (Con), Coding (Int), Knowledge – Star Trek (Int), Knowledge – Star Wars (Int), Knowledge – Whedonverse (Int), Knowledge – Doctor Who (Int), Obstinancy (Con), WoW (Dex) Class Features: job security, technomancy, continuing education Bonus languages: All geeks gain Jargon and l33t as bonus languages.   Geek overview   Religion  Most geeks are unaligned. They are charmingly simple creatures, happiest when left alone or with fellow geeks to play, sing, and/or build robots out of scavenged computer parts. Evil geeks are rare but not unknown: they work for Microsoft, maintain the Great Firewall of China, or develop censoring software.  Races  Geekdom is overwhelmingly dominated by humans. Elves and Eladrin should theoretically make great geeks; in practice, they tend to name their boxes things like “Server of the Valley of the Silver Wind that Sings in the Trees”, which is such a pain to type that everyone just sticks it in their ‘.rhosts’ file, no matter how big a security risk that is; plus, they keep whining that UTC-8 doesn’t support Tengwar. A small community of Halfling geeks was rumored to exist, but on closer inspection they turned out to be Human children. No Orcs are known to be geeks, though every non-sysadmin geek swears that his or her sysadmin is one. Genders About 10-15% of geeks are female, though you’d never know it from the number of male geeks who stare at them as though they’d never seen such a thing. Female geeks begin play with a purse, a bag of holding from which they may withdraw one tool per round, as a minor action.   Class Features   Continuing education: Each time you take a feat, you may take a bonus feat – but it must be a weapon proficiency that you don’t already have. Job security: Years of your tender loving care have turned your servers into lumbering hybrid monstrosities, barely held together by kludges, duct tape, and (when necessary) the Dark Arts. Nobody dares fire you. Technomancy: Technology fears you. Glitchy technology will fall into perfect working order in your presence, causing your users to despair that “it wasn’t doing that a minute ago!”     […]

By |April 28th, 2009|MyBlog|3 Comments|

“Anything’s better than going to Ohio.” *

  Last week, I got treated to an early look at The Patriot Witch, the latest book from esteemed author CharlieBunnyPants  C. C. Finlay.  And "treat" really is the right word here.   The Patriot Witch is the story of one Proctor Brown, a 20-year-old farmer and minuteman, who just wants to marry the girl of his dreams, raise cattle and get rich.  But a pesky little Revolutionary War seems to be getting in the way.   Oh yeah, and the magic.   You see, Proctor’s family is from Salem, and he’s got magic in his blood.  His mother, who sometimes helps the neighbors with little things, like sick animals and crop blight, has taught Proctor how to scry, but is otherwise a firm believer in hiding that magic light under the biggest bushel available.  Hanging folks for witchcraft isn’t a long-dead custom in 1775.   Magic aside, those annoying Redcoats are coming, and Proctor is called to the nearby town of Lexington to make a stand with his fellow minutemen.  But Proctor spots an English officer with a charm around his neck, one that seems to protect him from harm, and realizes this war is about to get a whole lot more complicated.     Proctor might have an itchy trigger finger.  I’m just sayin’.   The Patriot Witch starts off (literally) with a bang, and doesn’t let up.  Proctor stumbles across other patriots with his own brand of special talents, who are in turn menaced by those on the opposing side.  And they’re not picky about who they kill in their quest to stop the rebellion.   This is a fast, fun read, with breathless pacing, helpful, healing magic vs. dark sorcery, romance! and an extremely likeable protagonist.  The Patriot Witch is the first book in the Traitor to the Crown trilogy, and is available today from any fine bookseller near you or your computer.  The next two books in the series, A Spell for the Revolution and The Demon Redcoat, will be published in May and June of this year, respectively, so if you’re chary of starting an unfinished series, you don’t have to worry.   I’m already dying to get my hands on the next one.  Go.  Get you some.  Enjoy!  * The title of this article is a direct quote from the book and is no way intended as a slur against the great state of Ohio. ~ The Management […]

By |April 27th, 2009|MyBlog|2 Comments|

Swine Flu on Twitter (as imagined by xkcd)

By |April 27th, 2009|MyBlog|1 Comment|

What is with that Penguin Anyway?

 Just as there’s three different types of ice cream there are three major types of Operating Systems. First there’s soft serve. At some point in your life, you’ve had it. Every place under the sun has it and it shows up every where. Even here in Libya. It’s what everyone knows, so it’s the default if you’re not sure what to get. Usually you don’t get a lot of choice on flavors, but there’s vanilla and chocolate and almost everyone can decide on one of those two. Soft serve? Is Windows. It’s the comfy familiar. Then you have frozen yogurt. It’s trendy, it’s cool. It’s what you get when you’re trying to lose weight or just be environmentally friendly. It’s the hip and cool thing. Might have flavors, might not and you can’t always find it everywhere. Which is part of the fun right? It’s a bit more expensive but you’re always happy with the product. That my friends? Is Mac. More expensive but worth the money and hey, it’s the in thing right now.  Finally we come to frozen custard. No one’s heard of it or if you have, you have no idea what it is. Is it even ice cream? The name itself brings confusion sounds like something those weirdos up in Wisconsin would like. Something you have to have grown up with to understand. An in joke, possibly. Not something normal people could try. You can’t find it everywhere, and yet it pops up in the strangest places. It comes in so many different flavors when you do find it, you’re just flummoxed and flabbergasted at what to choose so you end up going back to what you know, soft serve or frozen yogurt. Here’s the rub, the part that no one tells you. Once you’ve had frozen custard? You never want to go back. It’s just that damn good. And that my friends, is Linux. So what is Linux? Linux is an operating system, much like Windows and Mac. It’s built to run on most PCs. The main difference between Windows and Linux is that it’s free. Legally free for home users and not only is the operating system free but over 40,000 different applications that you could use are also free. There’s also one other main difference. It’s open source.   […]

By |April 27th, 2009|MyBlog|4 Comments|